


Better Than Babs

by alexcat



Category: Boston Legal
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-21
Updated: 2011-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-27 16:59:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/298034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan develops an obession with Denny and Shirley that looks as if it might come true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Than Babs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [debirlfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/debirlfan/gifts).



> I hope this is what you wanted or close enough. You have some ingriguing ideas at your LJ for more variations of this story that I'd love to delve into later!

BETTER THAN BABS

Denny and Alan were having one of their infamous sleepovers. They were both already in bed, having had their scotch and watched the obligatory ‘manly’ movie. Denny had just turned out the lamp and was settling down when Alan cleared his throat.

“Tell me about Shirley.”

“You already know about her. We had a hot torrid affair. She still wants me but she won’t say so.”

“Was she as much of a smartass then as she is these days?” Alan thought Shirley was still hot but he imagined her smoking hot back in the day, maybe like a young Candice Bergen.

“Oh, yes and so was I. We were the sexiest and the most obnoxious lawyers anywhere.”

“That bad?” Alan raised an eyebrow though Denny couldn’t see it in the dark.

“Oh, no. That good. We were brilliant.”

“Was the sex good?”

Denny laughed. “Sex with me is always good. You know that.”

Alan laughed. “No, I mean her. Was she good?”

“Well, of course she was. How could she miss with me?”

Alan decided to let it go. They did need to get some sleep as they both had an early day tomorrow. He closed his eyes and didn’t open them until his clock alarmed at six.

*

Alan found himself wondering about Shirley and Denny at odd times during the next day. He tried to visualize them as the young lions of the law world and had no trouble at all seeing it. He tried to imagine what it would be like to be with them… and he stopped himself short every time.

Alan Shore had done kinky things, many kinky things, but to be thinking of sex with two senior citizens _together_ , and one them a man, was stranger than most of the things he’d done.

He found himself hanging around Shirley’s office when he had no business there. So far, she’d paid little attention to him, probably thinking he was looking for Denny, who managed to show up in her office at least once a day, usually more.

He had a ‘date’ with a gorgeous paid companion in the evening and asked her if she minded if he called her Shirley. She’d had a good laugh but agreed to it since he was a regular and a very high paying customer. It was nice but still not what he wanted.

The next day, he found out that even the hooker hadn’t dimmed his new obsession. He found himself drifting as he talked with a new client. His mind kept seeing both him and Denny kissing Shirley, undressing her and more. It was the more that was making his attention wander so wildly.

“Mr. Shore, did you hear me?” His client was a hot young divorcee who was looking for a bigger chunk of her cheating husband’s money than he wanted to give her. She was also looking for some payback in the sack with her divorce lawyer.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Ackerman. I didn’t get much sleep last night. Please tell me one more time.”

She’d been rather gracious, especially since he admired her long legs and obvious cleavage to her satisfaction. She had used her husband’s money well when she had been married on the best spas, personal trainers and plastic surgeons so Alan’s attention went a long way to making her feel appreciated and forgiving of his momentary lapse. He appreciated her even more in her limo after an outrageously expensive business dinner.

*

After a week of his Shirley and Denny obsession, Alan Shore was ready to scream but he dared not tell anyone. Who was he going to tell? Denny would invite him to have sex with him and Shirley. Shirley would fire him if she didn’t kill him first. Anyone else would simply laugh at him and tell the whole office, except Paul, who would have a coronary.

It was time for another sleepover and this time, Alan was ready. He had questions to ask ready in his head.

Movie… popcorn and scotch… finally bed.

“Denny, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. Who knows more than I do?”

Alan smiled despite himself. “Did you and Shirley ever have a threesome?”

“Well, we had one with Barbra Streisand but Shirley tells me now it was some guy who just looked like Barbra.”

“And?”

Denny looked at him. “And what?”

“How was it?”

“Well it was great until Shirley told me a few weeks ago that Barbra was probably a Bob instead.”

“Would you do it again?”

“With Shirley and Babs? Nah.”

“What if it were a different man?”

“Like who? George Bush? I don’t think his wife or that Rice woman would let him play.”

Alan decided to just give it up. He wasn’t sure he _really_ wanted to do it anyway.

Denny was quiet for a bit. “I might would let you join us. You’re a fine specimen like me and we already sleep together anyway.”

Alan almost choked.

“Are you actually talking about sex, Denny?”

“Well, we didn’t play chess with Streisand. Of course I am.”

Alan knew that Shirley wasn’t even sleeping with Denny but the whole idea made him very happy. He had several fantasies before he drifted off to sleep. Oddly, many of them involved being kissed by Denny instead of Shirley. He put that out of his mind as it simply didn’t bear thinking about.

*

Alan avoided Denny the next day at work.

Or tried to. Denny was everywhere, even the Men’s Room.

“So Alan, want me to ask Shirley on a date for us?” Denny was standing at the urinal and Alan was washing his hands.

“I think that was probably just a fantasy on my part, Denny. One better left alone, I suspect.”

“I got turned on thinking of a threesome with Shirley again. Have I told you how hot she is?” Denny grinned lecherously as he tucked himself back into his pants and zipped up.

“Several times, as a matter of fact.”

No more was said at that time but even Alan should have known better than to think Denny was going to let this go once it had been suggested to him. Late that afternoon after Alan had returned from court, Shirley called him into her office. He wondered what he’d managed to screw up but beyond that, he had no idea what was coming.

“Denny tells me that you think the three of us should get together. Is that true?” She didn’t look angry. Not yet anyway.

“I was under the impression that Denny knew I was daydreaming out loud.”

“Well, apparently you need to daydream to yourself, Mr. Shore. Denny was in my office at eight this morning to ‘iron out the details’ of our date. I threw him out on his ass.”

She still didn’t seem too awfully angry with either of them.

“I apologize, Shirley. I can’t speak for Denny but I will never mention it again.”

She leaned forward. “I will kill you if you repeat this to anyone but that threesome Denny and I had years ago _was_ the best sex I’ve ever had. The opportunity has never come up to repeat it but I do recommend it at least once.”

Alan was speechless, which was saying quite a bit.

Shirley looked around and spoke in a quiet voice to Alan. “One time only. The place of my choosing and you are to never speak of it again, not even to yourself, alone, in the middle of the night! I’ll let you know.”

Alan nodded since he couldn’t actually form words. He went back to his office and pretended to work the rest of the day.

*

The summons came about a week later. It was to take place that very night at a house Shirley owned in the country.

They all arrived separately.

Denny grinned at Alan after they got out of their cars. “See? I told you that no one can resist me!”

Shirley invited them into her home and offered them drinks, which they gratefully accepted. Alan found this even stranger and more awkward than he’d feared it would be.

At least at first.

Then Denny and Shirley began to tell stories of their past, a rather checkered one at that. Alan found himself amused, even tickled by how bold and reckless the two of them had sometimes been, both in and out of bed.

“So Shirley, shouldn’t we get started?” Denny was chomping at the bit.

Shirley simply smiled and continued with her tale of youthful debauchery.

“We didn’t come all the way out here to listen to stories.” Denny was getting more impatient with every passing minute.

Shirley moved over to sit near Denny on the sofa and whispered, “Denny Crane” into his ear. Even Alan could see how he visibly shivered.

“Alan, do you think that a man that shakes this hard at the sound of his name will survive a night with you _and_ me?”

“Denny is stronger than you think.”

She laughed. “I suspect you’re right.”

Alan decided that this had all been a joke on Denny. Perhaps Shirley was tired of him hanging about her office, badgering her to sleep with him, professing undying love and lust and generally making a fool of himself.

Alan found out moments later that he was wrong. He saw the woman Denny told him about emerge as she teased Denny to distraction then asked Alan to join them on the sofa. Alan was happy to oblige and was shocked that the first hand to slide up his thigh was not Shirley’s but Denny’s. He didn’t dare make a sound as that hand moved farther up until it wasn’t caressing thigh at all any more.

Hours later, the three of them lay on Shirley’s king sized bed with Alan dozing in the middle. He’d been thoroughly and completely depleted and had fallen asleep.

“See? I told you we were still good, Shirley.” Denny looked over at the still lovely Shirley. He didn’t see the signs of age at all. He still saw the red hot blond lawyer who’d matched him so well in every way in their younger days.

“I know that, Denny. I just wasn’t sure this dear boy was up to it.” She leaned over and kissed Alan’s cheek. “Only forty-four and already we can outlast him.”

“He is at a disadvantage. He’s not Denny Crane!”

Shirley laughed quietly and leaned across to pat Denny’s cheek. “Denny, I saw your hands on him and I saw you kiss him too.”

Denny tried to look offended. “You always said I was narcissistic. He’s so much like me at that age that it was like making love to myself and you know how much I like me.”

Shirley smiled again and lay back. “Yes, I certainly do. Now get some rest, Denny. We have to work tomorrow.”

They were quiet for a moment and Denny finally said, “Alan was much better than Babs, don’t you think?”

“Oh yes.”

She turned out the light and fell asleep moments later with a smile on her face.

~end~


End file.
